Time Flies, Kids Grow

We can't believe that it's been since before our trip that we last posted. Our trip was great and we sure needed the rest and time alone together. We took advantage of the area in many ways. Our favorites were seeing Mt. Rushmore at night, hiking Harney Peak and riding the 1880 train between Hill City and Keystone.

As you can see Abby is growing, we were moving stuff around and she tried out the baby swing one last time. She just moved to the toddler bed a few weeks ago and hopefully the potty chair is next :) She loves watching her movies and her favorite is her Boz dvds.

Hopefully we will get a chance to post more and update our online album over the colder months. Just know if we don't post, things are probablly going well for us. We suggest suscribing to the blog so you can get an email when we update the blog.

As always, we appreciate your prayers as we are starting to think and pray about growing our family. It was decided awhile ago not to have children on our own any more and will soon medically take that option away.

We are at peace with this decision, but it does make us sad to be reminded why. It's hardest for us when time goes by and we don't take time to remember our boys. It eventually hits us when we don't expect it.

There is a song that we found recently that is special to us. It's "Yours" by Steven Curtis Chapman. Earlier in the year He lost his youngest 5 year old daughter, who was adopted. He added a new verse to the end of this song and it sums up how we have hope and joy through the loss we have experienced. We encourage you to download/buy the new version of the song as all the proceeds will go to his adoption chairty.


Thankful that God is in control,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Change of Plans

A few days after we posted last we changed our trip plans from Maine to the Black Hills. We finally found good prices for flights, but it would mean driving to Omaha and flying into NH. We weren't able to use frequent flier miles like we had hoped. The next morning the prices went up but we weren't ready to book, then they jumped again that night.

We discussed our original options and decided that a trip to the Black Hills would not only be cheaper but would also fit our goals better for the trip. This trip is to reconnect and strengthen our marraige. Flying to a new destination and having to plan, see and do would likely get in the way. It's still on the list, but will be another year.

This will also allow us to use the Labor Day Holiday weekend without worrying about expensive and busy airlines. We will start the vacation off on Thursday as we will go to Ames to watch SDSU play Iowa St in football. Then on Friday we will go to Sioux Falls to spend time at Life Light and with our family before we leave Abby with Papa and Nana Uken and take off for the Hills early Sunday.

We have a bed and breakfast near Hill City reserved from Sunday night until we leave Saturday morning. Stuart is familiar with the area and we will do some moderate sight seeing, but will still leave plenty of time to relax and enjoy the area.

The last few weeks were a little busy with less sleep. We helped with VBS last week, which was in the evening and we also had our wood floors on the main level refinished. Tashia went back to SF for a day with Abby. This meant we had to fit everything into our kitchen, laundry and porch. They turned out well and we are proud to say that we now have pictures on the wall in less than 1 year this time!!

Abby kicked this week off with a high fever that lasted four days. Her temp was hitting 105 with both Tylenol, Ibuprophen and sponge baths. It was likely Roseola, which is a low risk viral infection that infects kids under 4. She did get the tell tale rash after her fever broke. This was very tough for us in two ways. As with any parent, it's hard to see your children suffer with nothing you can do to help them. It's amplified after what we have been through with our sons. All we long for is healthy children at this point.

Even though we trust in God's plan and have no reason to believe that he would take Abby, we still have to contend with the fear that we would lose her. This was very strong as we went to the clinic not knowing if it was a severe infection and then a few days later to the ER after the fever kept going up. We have been there too much.

Otherwise things have been going well. Stuart has been golfing more this summer. He will also be traveling to East Iowa next weekend. There is a mandatory meeting relating to hunting on the Iowa Army Ammunition Plant land in Burlington Iowa where he plans on hunting in December. It's a large area of federal land surrounding the plant and drawings are held to gain hunting access. He will be joining a college friend and others.

Tashia continues to do much better at the fitness plan the Stuart. She's well on her way to her goal and has decided to join Stuart in running the Hobo Day 5k this fall. She had a slight setback with a painful foot, but thankfully that went away and wasn't a fracture or sprain as we had feared.

James' gravesite marker has been placed and we are anxious to see it. It's nice to have his and the others' pictures on the walls now. Hopefully after Stuart gets back the memorial garden will make it to the next phase.

That's it for now.

Trying to stay cool, fit, and healthy,

Stuart, Tashia and Little Miss Abby

Starting the Next Chapter

It's been over a month since we last gave you all an update. If you have followed us for awhile, you probably guess things are getting back to normal and our posts will be more sporadic now. I'm sure we will have plenty to share about Abby and will try to have photos as well.

Our most exiting news, well to us anyway is that we are planning a trip for the two of us this fall. We went to Florida the January after Tony passed away and found it to be an important reconnection time for us. This time we don't want to wait as long and will hopefully be booking flights this week for a September trip to Maine. We wanted to pick a place neither of us have been to before. It will be a 5 day trip and we will see some sites but will focus more on relaxing together.

Tashia has been much better at exercising and losing weight so far. Stuart came down with a typical sinus infection after the 1st week and hasn't gotten back on track since. We ran/walked a 5k together and both hope to run one together in October. After recovering from her own sinus infection last week, Tashia now has a pain in her foot and is either a stress fracture or tendonitis. This is a big bummer for her as she was really wanting to get into the running routine.

Abby is doing great and is still keeping us moving. She's adding words to her vocabulary and can understand most basic commands. Last week she crawled up on the chair at the table by herself. We decided she deserved to use a booster seat now like a big girl. She got to go to the wading pool twice today. She seems to enjoy the water, but also will just stand and watch the other kids play.

Reina is doing well with the underground fence and seems to enjoy the extra freedom. It makes it easier for the family to hang out on the porch with out getting tripped by her old tie out. The cat is doing fine and Dad has learned not to get her riled up when Abby is around. Otherwise she tends to lash out at Abby.

We made it to our Tony and James' grave sites this last weekend. We meant to go last time we were in SF, but missed the closing time and had to wait until now. It was much harder not being there for Tony's birthday (6/21/06) than we thought. We almost drove up just for the day but ended up waiting. We aren't sure if we mentioned it before, but James' site is just two to the south of Tony's which is nice. His marker has been ordered and should be placed in a month or two.

That's all for now, hope to give some more info this week. It gets eaiser every week, but even though we have been here before it still can be a strain on our lives as well as our marraige and family. We also have some big decisions to make on family planning options. As always we thank you for your prayers.


Trusing God and Renewed Daily,

Stu, Tashia and Little Fish

Day by Day

This has been quite a gap after the almost daily updates about James. Our tracker shows that there a lot of people that are still checking in on how we are doing. We greatly appreciate that.

We are now half-way through a "normal" week and it has been good to move forward but also very tough at times. The hardest part is that we are both away from each other for a much longer period than we are used to. Dad is back to work full time and mom is holding down the home front, which was a bit behind to start the week.

Today has been one of our worst days and we are looking forward to the weekend. It's hard to remember exactly how we dealt with it after Tony but it's good that we don't remember those things. We do know it gets better with time. Another reason today was tough was some bitter sweet news we were alerted to yesterday.

There was a couple with four children and two had a severe form of EB. Last fall they lobbied and were allowed to try a potential break through bone marrow transplant on the youngest brother using stem cells from one of the healthy older brothers. They just released news yesterday that it seems to be working and may be a cure for EB.

Obviously we are overjoyed for them and all EB families as we know how hard you hope that your child would be cured. This is providing huge hope for them all and shows promise. Besides revisiting the facts of EB, we were reminded that it's too late for our two sons and it would also be a longshot for any future children. We will be going into more detail on that and provide a link to the stories in a future post. Consider that our cliffhanger for this episode.

We both decided to set aggressive goals for losing weight in the next 4 weeks. It's something we wanted to do and decided it may be good to keep us active. Yes some of the blame is from all the wonderful food we were provided for the last month and we would eat it all again if we had the chance! So far it's tough getting up in the morning to exercise, but Abby assures us she would help with that regardless.

She has been good at night until last night and may have some teeth on the move again. It's fun to watch her smile and laugh with her new chompers. She has a new chuckle she likes to show off. Abby still says hi and bye to everyone she sees, usually more that once.

Another goal we have is to get started on a memorial flower garden in our yard. We were sad to leave Tony's in SF and learned that it was very helpful for the grieving process.

Again, we are amazed and overwhelmed by the condolences and comfort we are receiving from all. We can't thank you all enough for everything you have provided and continue to provide for us and our family. We truly feel loved and taken care of.

One of our biggest challenges is to continue to rely on God's strength to get us through. It's easy for us to think we can handle things on our own, especially when things go well in life. We must remember daily to surrender to the one in control and that is when we truly find peace.


Still drained, now with sore muscles,

Stu, Tashia and Miss Social

A Better Day

Yesterday we packed up James' things but didn't have much energy to do anything else.

Today was much better. We were able to pick up and tidy the house and have finalized all the funeral details. It was a very nice day out and spent time outside for part of it. Family arrived for supper and we are all in better spirits.

Abby was having a great day until she slipped on the front porch steps. She managed to hit and scrape her chin, lip, gums around her latest tooth and her forehead. It's not as bad as it sounds, but it's changed her outlook on the day.

Even if we don't bandage her wounds, they will heal and disappear in a few days. Of course our minds will almost always realize that to her brothers, this would be a disaster. We have to balance between being overly protective and concerned for our only child and being under sympathetic and concerned because we have seen the worst.

We are both looking forward to the services so we can move and dreading going through this a second time. It's a rare event that parents have to bury a child and we will do this now for the second time. We also look forward to celebrating James' life and giving glory to God.

Please continue to pray for healthy grieving for our family and safe travel for all.

Comforted by the only One who truly understands,

Stu, Tashia and Tough Girl

PS - we forgot to leave the webisite for Abiding Savior, the location for the reception on Wednesday. We should arrive around 11:45

www.knowingthesavior.org/

Again all are welcome to come to one or all of the services/receptions.

Details

Going through the arrangements during these times isn't easy or enjoyable. However, it's a necessary step in the process. Even though Abby keeps us busy, we are still tired and weary. We know by experience that it does get better with time.

Below are websites with information for this week. The link feature still doesn't work for me, so you will have to cut and paste.

Hills of Rest (burial) - www.hillsofrest.com/

Arthur Evengelical Free Church - www.arthurefc.org

Ida Grove accomodations - www.idagroveia.com/Resources/pages/aboutig_business.html#Anchor-44867

Funeral Home Site www.christensenhuffman.com/

That's all for now, keep visiting for more.

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Tuesday and Wednesay

It's a bit lonely and sullen even with the family around. We thank God that we have Abby to give us a lift. She is going to keep us active for sure. Her two top front teeth have broken through, but they are still making her a bit restless at night.

Nights are especially lonely since we had to have James between us in bed at night to make sure we heard him cry and breath. Our sleep has been sound and eventually we will be back on a normal schedule.

We were dissapointed to find out the casket has to be closed. Besides kissing him goodbye one more time, we wanted everyone to see him that haven't had a chance.

Services will be Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday there will be visitation from 9-11 at the Arthur church with a service at 11 and reception following. Wednesday we will have the burial service at 11 am at Hills of Rest in Sioux Falls, followed by a reception at Abiding Savior.

All are welcome and invited at any of the services. Please pass this on to those you can. We will provide directions and other information in the days to follow.

Missing our Little Dude,

Stu, Tashia and Abby.