Big Party - Big Boy

No news is good news right? It's been a bit busy, with a few expected trips, doctor visits and Abby's birthday, but everything else is par for the course with a newborn. We are hoping that this week is where we can get our routine started.

Isaiah has been doing very well. He has been gaining a lot of weight and is much bigger already than any baby we have had at 10lbs. All of his checkups and specialist appointments have went well and he is progressing nicely. We will continue to have more checkups that are routine for micro preemies but there are really no concerns other than him getting a cold at this point.

Our little man is going through the same phases as a 3-4 week old baby right now. This is fun to be a part of and it is still hard to believe that we get to experience this process. Having a baby boy seems to be bringing a new level of healing that only he could give us. Seeing other baby boys shouldn't cause us to feel the longing or loss we used to. We are so thankful for God's blessings!

The first few weeks were a bit rough for Abby and us to all adjust. We have all done a better job lately and seem to be acting like a family of four now. Sleep is still the biggest challenge right now. It takes Isaiah awhile to calm down at bedtime, but does a decent job sleeping. He eats around 10pm, 2am and 6am right now. Mom takes the first two feedings and Dad takes the last one before heading to work. The last stretch of a brutal winter doesn't help either.

Our Miss Abby is now 3 years old. We tried to really talk and play up her Party a few weekends ago. She really seems to like attending parties and really wanted to give her some attention with the new baby. Dora and her gang exploded in our house and she seemed to have had a good time with family including a few cousins.

She really likes to hold Isaiah and show him attention, but she isn't exactly the gentle sister. In so many ways she is like her dad. Since Dad spends plenty of time outside with all the snow moving, she likes to tag along and get out of the house. It will be nice after the weather improves and everything thaws and dries out. 3-year olds aren't meant to be cooped up inside!

This is a photo from the first weekend we were back home. We went to the local Family Dollar, to get a reward for Abby and we picked out this doll. While we were gone she named him Isaiah.

We can't say enough how much we appreciate all your prayers and support we have received over the past few years. Our family and friends are our biggest blessings!

Enjoying God's grace,

Stu, Tashia, Abby the Explorer and our 10lb Proud Angler

The Little Big Helper

Abby loves to help around the house and when she makes pizza with mom, she gets her own little batch. She had extra fun this time.


It's been hard to be away from Abby, but we had decided earlier that this was the best way. Now given the circumstances it affirms it was a good decision, but also harder than we thought. In November we were away from her for 7 days so we will be close to doubling. It's affecting mom the most as she spends the most time with her and most of her daily routine revolves around her.

She seems to be having a great time with those watching her as she hardly gives us a sentence on the phone:( But it may just be her way of dealing with it. We can't say enough about how much we appreciate those taking care of her while we are gone!!


This is Reina pulling Abby this weekend. Reina moved in with Grandpa and Grandma Uken last year to help with Stuarts allergies. Abby doesn't seem to miss her at home, but loves to play with her when they get reunited.

We are exited to see how Abby reacts when we get home. We are sure she will be trying to help take care of baby Isaiah from the get go. She already named one of her dolls after him and thinks he will be in her room right away. When asked if she wanted a baby brother or sister, she always said both! We will see if she's paitent on the sister part...

Isaiah has been eating and sleeping well and for the most part has his awake time during the day. He is a fairly calm baby and his rare crying is quite soft. We aren't complaining!

We got to watch Isaiah's Saints win on Sunday (we are only 1hr from NO). Daddy reminds him that Saints finish strong when he eats!

The storm surge from Katrina came just blocks from his hospital and it was a major emergency center after the storm. Everything seems to be cleaned up from the 2005 storm, but almost every residential beach front lost is still vacant and for sale.

We will be exited to introduce Isaiah to everyone when we return home. Just keep in mind that when we do venture out or if you visit that you may not be able to hold him due to the risk of catching a cold. Hopefully he gets strong this winter and it won't be as big of a conern in the future.

No word at this point of where the papers are at. We should know more tomorrow. After his appt. we will stop at a new hotel within an hour or two of the border. Needless to say we will be ready everyday to take off in a minutes notice.

Trying to patiently wait,

Stu, Tashia, Who Dat? Isaiah, and from far away Abby

He can send you anywhere from here

The truth found in James 4:13-15 is reality to us right now as it has been before. Anthony took us on a 2 week stint to Houston, TX. Now our latest son Isaiah sends us on the road to Mississippi with less than 24hrs notice. We knew it could happen fast and that we may be going to a state out of the region. Still, we were a bit unprepared, at least mentally for this.



About 3 weeks ago we opted to send our book to California for a baby due in February. We hadn't heard back on if we were picked and another baby in Louisiana was already born and leaving the hospital in a week. We again chose to send our book. 8 days ago Sunday at 5pm we got the call we were picked for the boy. He was ready to leave the hospital and he was actually in Mississippi on the coast. So we packed last minute for a 19 hour drive and up to a 10 day stay. It was a whirlwind to say the least.

We left Monday at noon and stopped at 9pm just south of St. Louis as neither of us are good night drivers. Tuesday at 4pm we arrived at the hospital and got to meet Isaiah for the first time. We agreed for one last night of good rest and began our "room in" with Isaiah the next day. After two days we brought him out to our temporary abode at the Hampton Inn just after lunch on Friday. We had originally hoped that the interstate paperwork would clear early and be able to leave Monday or Tuesday.

Well, God not only controls the where, but also the when. We learned that week long cold snap was too much for the deep south. The government building in Jackson that processes the papers was closed all week due to extensive water main breakages due to freezing. Also, Monday (today) is a holiday. So we reserved through Wednesday and will have an appointment 2 hrs north, then continue to the border for hopefully just a night or two. Then when we get word that the papers have cleard both states we will journey home.

Isaiah was actually born Oct 2nd of last year at 24-26 weeks and weighed 1lb 12oz. He has had a very difficult road to this point to say the least, but now is doing very well. He is now over 8lbs and his due date was originally this Wednesday. His journy may have more bumps in the road but we are hopeful that they won't be major. We had decided against a special needs child, but as we mentioned earlier, God had different plans.

Special needs is a broad term and Isaiah is probably on the light end of it at least at this point. He is currently on the lowest setting of oxygen and will probably be off that in the next few months. His biggest concerns are his eyes and his lungs. We have an appointment down here on Wednesday and hopefully it will show that his eyes are continuing to improve and will not need surgery. Due to his early arival plus his frequent and lengthy intubations he has chronic lung disease, which he should grow out of eventully. Catching a cold (RSV)or other virus is a major concern. He does have a few medications and treatments.

Compared to our first two boys, he demands much less time and precaution. However, due to his lungs we won't be venturing out much this winter. The cord from the oxygen tank isn't bad in the hotel room, but at home may be a bigger challenge. While he does have some minimal structural abnormalities (stridor) that give just a bit harder time breathing and sometimes a whistle you can hear. It was much worse a few weeks ago and hopefully will continue to improve as he grows.

With Tony and James, every little cough was a concern knowing that choking could follow and damage was taking place. We are getting used to not over reacting to that with Isaiah. It's also different holding a boy that has skin that doesn't blister from even a gentle touch. When Isaiah cries, which isn't very often, it's a comfort to know it's only from normal pain or need that any baby experiences. We didn't have Abby during most of her "baby" months, so we didn't have a chance to get over having a so called normal child.

We won't know for certain why we are here for an extended stay, but I'm sure dealing with these issues and our past is a benifit of this time. We are also making the most of this time by bonding with him, which is really important in the adoption process. Since not even grandparents can hold him the first week, it's actually easier for them!!





Well, we have much more to say about Isaiah and Abby, but will end this post for the day with plans to add more tomorrow in case we don't have internet at the next stop. We will have more pictures coming so be sure to check back.

While, we didn't sign up for a child like Isaiah, we know without a doubt that He was chosen for us. He is already a huge blessing in our lives and we look forward to bringing him home to meet everybody. You just won't be all able to hold him
right away.

Please pray for patience, for Abby and those caring for her, for us missing Abby and for Isaiah's continued progress in his health.

Trying to patiently wait,

Stu and Tashia and Little Man

Course is set. Destination: only God knows

Times flies and yet again we haven't done well updating our blog. Well, hopefully now it's expected as the norm. I'm sure when the adoption process begins to finish there will a bit of a flurry of posts. It's bad when you have to re-read old posts to see where we left off.

Wow, now I really feel bad seeing that when we last left you we were "leaning toward infant adoption" and now we have been approved to adopt!!! We did decide on infant adoption, open to any race/gender 0-3 months and open or closed adoption. Our only exclusions were major disabilities or major substance abuse of parent as we aren't confident that we would be ready for that.

We have completed all the paperwork. Which is like buying a house except the background checks are much more intensive. Three home study visits are complete: two at a neutral site and one at the "home". Home study has been approved. Online courses are completed. One last day of classes in Blue Earth this Saturday (12/5), but we are already in the "pool".

I say pool because it's not really a waiting list. The birth mothers choose the adoptive parents by looking at their photo album showing their family. We did ours online and it's basically a scrapbook with a letter at the front. Here is the if you would like to view it.

Our agency, New Horizon's works in 3 states and we could get a child from any of SD, Minn or Iowa. If they have too many waiting families and we are open to it (we are) they will also move some to a North Carolina affiliate.

Also, if they still need more outlets, they have a Christian network of agencies that we could be sent to, but those are a bit more expensive and we will make that call if we come to it. We were surprised to find out that families in northern states are about 2x as likely to adopt an African American baby as those in the south.

So far we have been very impressed by New Horizons as they are very thorough and provide an excellent service and keep expenses much lower than others. This was the main reason we chose them from a few others. They really do their best to protect the adoptive families while providing every bit of help and assistance for the mothers and child as well. They even take the mother out for a shopping day and spend some money for their new size of clothes after they have the baby.

After going through the preliminary process, we are confident they are also picking the best families to raise these children and are humbled to be approved for 1 or 2(twins) children. If you ask Abby if she wants a brother or a sister, firmly and consistently says "no, I need both". Seems our pastor isn't the only one praying for multiples for us. (He has triplets, oh my)

This came about a bit faster than we expected as we were planning on needing some time to raise funding for this as we estimate it will total about $18,000 when we are complete. There is a tax credit, but that would have taken a few years to recoup back that investment so we didn't want to use loans or credit. Not a surprise for Financial Peace University grads right?

Anyway we were totally amazed to have almost all of that amount gifted to us in advance from family and church friends, unsolicited. We can't really truly be surprised anymore after the way God has blessed us already in life, but we will always be amazed and humbled!! And very thankful. Isn't God Great?!! Needless to say, this gave us the "kick in the pants" we needed and is the main reason we are at this point in just a few months. I must add that Tashia was very motivated! It has been exiting to have this support.

So, we are now waiting for news of when a mother chooses us. She may be in early or late pregnancy, even the day of birth. There is a decent chance that she would change her mind, but it would be before we take possession. Once the baby is born we would be able to visit during the waiting period while it is in foster care. When the waiting period is complete, which is days or a few weeks depending on the state, the baby would be ready to be placed. After this point it is very very rare that there would be any risk of losing the baby after this point. One of the many benefits to using an agency.

Hurry and wait. Tashia seems to be a bit more anxious, but not quite nervous at this point of not knowing when, where or how much. It could be quick as in weeks or it could up to or over a year, but not likely that long. We both are confident in God's timing and that he already knows the plans for our life as always. We do have names almost finalized.

All that and such a small part of everything else that goes on with life. We will try to fill in a few other details of the summer. Thankfully November has been great weather after Oct.

We are ready for snow as we put in a new sidewalk running along the boulevard in front of our house. It was to the point of getting a notice from the city. Stuart is definitely looking forward to at least one snow to try out scooping the smooth walk. He put it in with some big help from friends. Small town has it's privileges.

There was also a medium sized maple tree behind the house that needed to go from huge trunk damage and rot. We hired a neighbor to cut off the top of the tree and Stuart felled the tree by digging around the roots and cutting them off. Then he was a bit too exited to use his chainsaw for the first time in a few years. It only took one day, the last time he dug out a stump it took a few months and was more than he bargained for. Some say he is frugal, but he actually enjoys it. I'm sure the therapists have a named condition for it.

The summer was also relaxing, but we didn't get around to camping until the weekend before labor day for one night. It had been a few years and we found out that Iowa has plenty of red necks too. Abby had fun and we hope to do much more this year depending on how adoption works into it.

We had a few nice days playing and picnics in the city parks, parades, bike rides, running and just relaxing in the yard. Abby has a pair of children her age on each side of us and it's fun to see them all play after work. Stuart ran two 5k's and Tashia ran her first in Ida Grove. She only planned on walking it as she had trouble with injuries but she amazed us all and ran almost the whole thing on a very muggy morning. Seems we are both stubborn and persistent, usually in a good way.

Stuart has been battling sinus infections more in the recent years since his successful surgery 8 years ago. He had another one done last week that went well and is trying to get over the infection after 10 weeks of antibiotics. We go in tomorrow for a follow-up. He is very anxious to getting back to exercising as it is very draining. Tashia has done a great job putting up with him as many know he gets rather crabby with them. Especially if he's hungry as well!

Work has been slow at Midwest for Stuart. This has created many challenges and exiting opportunities for him and things are looking up for the start of the year.

We just finished 13 weeks of Financial Peace University. Stuart led the discussion group and Tashia ran the nursery. She deserves a raise:) It went well and is a very impressive and worthwhile program.

Two weeks ago we traveled up to the twin cities for the SDSU football game and from there Tashia and Stuart continued on to Chicago, while Abby spent the week with Nana and Pappa Uken. Stuart attended two full days of FABTECH, a fabrication expo show for work, while Tashia relaxed at the hotel. Who would have thought that the third week of November would be that bearable there.

We had one day and three nights to see the sites and get a "taste" of Chicago. The Cloud Gate at Millenium park was interesting, Navy Pier was good, but would be better in the summer. The food was good, but there were highs and lows. The highs were without a doubt Garrett's popcorn and Portillo's hot dogs. Yes that's right popcorn and hot dogs. Gino's pizza was a bit of a let down and Big Bowl Thai was a bit too much different than typical Thai.


Wrapping this up, we did an great outdoor photo shoot in Sioux Falls. We were very pleased with the shoot and the pictures. See for yourself, after clicking the link, go to "proof" and type "abby". Two very pretty ladies huh? Editors note: And a pretty handsome guy if I do say so myself.


Hope that was all coherent and I'm sure we missed a few things, but those should be the big highlights.



Trying to be still and wait,

Stu and the Glamor Girls


PS - Thanks for those that continue to check the un-updated blog. It encourages us to keep this going and we are thankful for your faithful visits. And thanks for all your continued prayers during the adoption process.

PPS - Also, please pray for a friends family as their immediate safety is a concern. Pray also for the individual suffering from depression.

Bitter Sweet

Anthony's birthday falls on Father's Day this year. We remember all our children on these type of days, but the boys' birthdays and the day they passed on to a better life are tough in their own way. Even after three years they hit us a few days before. We get moody and crabby with each other and don't realize right away that it still affects us.

They do get a bit easier with every year that passes, but they are still hard. There are so many of these days in the first half of the year now for us. Memorial day weekend is also hard. Still one more date to go in August. We especially appreciate those that remember these days with us and bring up our boys and experiences in conversations with us. I'm not sure that we would ever not want to talk about them.

Our memorial garden turned out very well and only have a plant or two to add. Dad worked really hard for a few days to get it done as he has issues with wrapping up projects. This one was important to us and was a constructive way to spend remembering James on his birthday. As you can see, Abby was a big help with the project and loves to be doing what ever Daddy is doing. He really appreciates a daughter that isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. It really is uncanny how much she is like her Dad.

Abby continues to amaze us and bring joy into our lives everyday. We are in the middle of potty training (for the 3rd time) and she seems to be ready for it this time. She has been doing very good as it finally clicked. Now if she would only go #2 we would be good to go. We also used cloth training pants this time so she gets wet when she has an accident. Pull ups are great in concept but don't seem to faze our Miss Abby as it is to much like a diaper to her. Dad is having a hard time adjusting to all the ins and outs though.

She loves to talk and carry on conversations which are tough to follow. Usually if you can pick out a word, you can figure out what she is talking about. What Abby lacks in size, she has in agility and determination. Here she is climbing up a fairly steep slide at the secluded park that Dad takes her to.


Dad finally broke down and Mom purchased a DVD for the van for "long trips" only. You can see that it helps pass the time well.

This weekend is our Heritage Days for Ida Grove with a run/walk, duck race, rides, eating and parade. So daddy has been training for a 5K run and mommy of course injured herself so will be walking the 5K. Mommy thinks it is God's way of telling her she is not a runner. Although we know that is just her excuse. But she has been working our hard again to lose weight and get into shape. With potty training she doesn't have much time to do much else.

Grandpa and Grandma Uken will be coming down this week and we are all going to Omaha for a few days. Abby hopes to meet Elmo live at the Children's museum and we will also go to the zoo and a few other attractions. It's only an 1 1/2 hours from here, but we don't get there often enough.

We are trying to enjoy this summer as we haven't been able to take advantage of that the last few years. We haven't camped yet, but would like to soon. This fall we will begin to pursue plans to expand our family if it's God's will. We are strongly leaning to adopting an infant if possible.

Thanks for checking in on us and hope to see you soon. We aren't the best at posting on the blog anymore, but you can take that as a sign that things are going very well for us.


Until next time,

Stu, Tashia and Abby in training

We really miss our Little Dude

James' birthday is Thursday 4/23. Just like Tony's, it sneaks up on us and pretty much hits us harder than we are used to. We will be out of town three different weekends in May so we decided not to go back to SF to visit the grave site next week. Instead we will be working on the boys' memorial garden in front our house.

We started it last year by clearing out the juniper bushes. This morning Stuart moved the two big rocks, one has to be at least 400lbs. Then he removed some stone edging, leveled the dirt and arranged small retaining wall blocks and plastic edging to finish the design side. It was lightly raining so it was a bit messy but not a major obstacle.

Next week we will need to fill in the low spots and behind the blocks with dirt. We hope to be able to get the mulch and plant flowers on Saturday. It should give us something constructive to do while still remembering him.

Last night we attended the Michael W. Smith/Steven Curtis Chapman concert in the Sioux City Orpheum along with a few friends. We all had a great time. We both enjoy their music and they played a few songs that are very special to us. It was emotional at times but also healing. Chapman spent time talking about his trial and that was an encouragement to us.

Abby is still amazing us every day. She's just a wonderful little girl and brings us such joy. It's quite the mix of emotions that we can experience. It's a concrete example of "joy amidst the pain". She is still as social as ever and loves to go to the park with her friends.

We haven't moved too far on either Adoption or Foster care. There isn't a big rush for us and still seem to change our thoughts on it week to week. We are planning on enjoying this spring and summer. But we know all too well it will depend on what God has planned for us.

Thanks for all of you that continue to pray for us.

Looking forward to our boys again,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Happy 2nd Birthday Abby!!

The weekend started out with Nana and Papa coming Friday night for the weekend. Followed by Uncle Mike and Cara coming today to help celebrate her birthday. We decided not to do big parties as she is only 2 and won't remember yet. We had lunch, an Elmo cake and presents. Which she enjoyed. Although she wouldn't have cared if anyone including mommy and daddy were there as long as Uncle Mike was here. She loves her Uncle Mike. Thanks Uncle Mike and Cara for making the drive down. We celebrated with Tashia's family last weekend and Abby had lots of fun playing with her cousins Cadin, Kenzie, Landon and Kallie. She also enjoyed her presents. Thanks for the gifts. We will update again soon with pictures but wanted to at least post a Happy Birthday on her birthday.

Happy Birthday Abby!!

We love you!!